So it's been a month since I've written here. I hit a bad point in life, and still trying to dig myself out of it. Short Version of Story: I got kicked out recently, but no worries. I have that under control. For the most part. It has it's ups and downs. I'm still trying to get my room together, I've had no spare time to do anything. Everything is still all over the place, and I hope soon to fix that. I also am recovering from being very ill with who knows what. But it's taken for ever to get out of my system. I have basically no white blood cells to keep me goin. My grades have gone down. I haven't been very happy lately, I've kind of been going in a downward spiral. and I'm sure those of you around me have noticed. and I apologize for that. I probably bring you down sometimes. And I really don't mean to. I'm just ready to be back to my old self. I don't want to fall off the face of the earth, because that would probably be the worst thing for me to do right now. A few weeks ago, Alex and I broke up. And I wish more then anything that we didn't. He's everywhere I go, everything I do reminds me of him. Everyone I see has some kind of facial feature that just leads back to him. You don't know how many times I catch myself awake at night crying. I don't know how much he cares about anything, and that's what gets me the most. I feel like a piece of shit. I wish things were different. I wish every situation I've been put in the last few months were different. I feel like moving out of Utah. I want to so badly, I don't have a reason to really stay. I wouldn't be running away from any problems, because there really isn't problems I have to run away from in the first place. I just feel like I shouldn't be here anymore. I need a change, and I don't think it will happen as long as I'm here. I really hope that things start looking up. I'm going to start working really hard to get what I need to done, I am going to try to be good at EVERYTHING I want to be good at. I need to stop worrying so much.
On a good note though, I finally got the balls to quit Downeast. Thanks to the district manager over there. And I now am working at LoveSac, I couldn't ask for a better staff. I'm gonna miss Charlie when he leaves on Christmas. It won't be quite the same.
